Army To Be Made Up Of Mythical Creatures By 2016 18-01-10 DEFENCE cuts could see Britain's armed forces being made up of Minotaurs, winged horses and nightmarish un-dead demons from Hellraiser, according to a new report.
Non-commissioned Cenobites have complained about having to buy their own pins The Royal United Services Institute predicts that by 2016 the number of fully trained military personnel will drop from 175,000 to around nine or possibly 10, compromising Britain's ability to help America kill people who do not believe in Santa.
An MoD spokesman said: "If we could recruit a battalion of bloodthirsty Cenobites and train them in armed combat, they could do the same job as a normal soldier and then some.
"They're cheaper and have the added advantage that because they're technically dead, they can't be killed.
"Unless of course someone finds the solution to the Puzzle Box and sends them back to hell. In which case we're a tad fucked. Hypothetically."
But serving officers said human soldiers will be put at risk and warned it would be 'counterproductive' if the Army is 'watered down' with thousands of creatures not born of this world. Shortly before the invasion of Iraq, the Royal Marines attempted to train a division of gargantuan Krakens, the notoriously temperamental sea-monsters that lurk off the Norwegian coastline.
Military analyst Tom Logan said: "Not only were they continuously moody and insubordinate, they would also destroy entire coastal towns on a whim and eat the battleships they were supposed to be protecting.
"Still, at least they don't keep going on about bloody helicopters."
I was very sad to hear today of the passing of Nicholas Courtney, known to Doctor Who fans the world over as Brigadier Alastair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart, or just "the Brigadier". Mister Courtney's character was an essential part of Doctor Who in the "UNIT Years" of the early '70s and one of the best-loved characters in the show's long history.
Nicholas Courtney was a highly-regarded actor, a tireless ambassador for Doctor Who and an advocate of the actors' union, Equity. I never met him myself but I did see him at a fan gathering in a pub in London for the launch of the 2007 season of Doctor Who. As Courtney entered the room people clapped, stood to attention, saluted, called out "Brigadier, sir!" and flocked around the great man to buy him drinks and listen to his stories. And he loved it as much as they loved him.
The Brig will be sadly missed. Here he is with the second Doctor, the late Patrick Troughton:
Nicholas Courtney 16 December 1929 – 22 February 2011
He drinks, smokes, swears, farts, hangs out with his mates and has a laugh.
Oh, and he can turn invisible when he holds his breath and he eats live birds.
Paul ( the movie ) is Simon Pegg's and Nick Frost's love letter to the science fiction and comedy films of their youth, the movies of Spielberg, Lucas, Cameron and Landis. Scattered throughout the movie are references to, and lines of dialogue taken from, Close Encounters, ET, The Blues Brothers, Aliens and even Jaws.
Paul ( the character ) is a wise-cracking alien slacker who has been held by the US government since crashing his spaceship on top of a dog (!) back in 1947 and who now just wants to phone home. A combination of Seth Rogen's warm, happy-go-lucky, drawling characterisation and some impeccable CGI, Paul is a triumph: a totally believable character, both alien and familiar, who seems properly alive and not just a mass of pixels.
The core of the film is the friendship between loveable nerds Graeme Willy ( Pegg ) and Clive Gollings ( Frost ) who are on a road trip around America's UFO hotspots, taking in San Diego Comic-Con on the way. This friendship is tested when they pick up the fugitive ET and find themselves being chased by the police, secret service, rednecks, Bible-bashers and Sigourney Weaver.
Although missing the unique energy and lightning-fast editing of their frequent collaborator, Edgar Wright, Pegg and Frost surround themselves here with top-class American comedy talent and hand the reigns to Superbad director Greg Mottola, who handles the action well and has a good eye for landscapes. The dialogue is often hilarious, with some very creative swearing, especially from the lovely Kristen Wiig as a Creationist who loses her faith on meeting Paul and decides to get on with the business of "kissing and fornicating" sooner rather than later. Which is good news for Simon Pegg's character.....
Maybe not an instant classic like Shaun Of The Dead, the film is still hugely entertaining and laugh-out-loud funny, with the added bonus ( for us fellow nerds ) of spotting all those film references. The central relationships between Graeme, Clive and Paul are the heart of the film and lift it above many other, lesser, slacker comedies.
OK, so I know Steranko Saturdays are, like, so last year but I couldn't resist posting this image that I found at the wonderful
Rip Jagger's Dojo. It's an adaptation of this cover from the 1968 Incredible Hulk Special, featuring the original Steranko Hulk artwork, not the sanitised version with a new, Marie Severin-drawn head pasted on.
( I hope all that makes some kind of sense! )
This issue of Mighty World Of Marvel was probably where I first encountered Steranko's artwork
( apart from possibly the History Of Comics ads in early '70s comics ) but unfortunately it's no longer in the Glass Walking-Stick's Comic Catacombs.
Courtesy of Newsarama here are a few covers from upcoming comics by Alex Ross, David Finch and John Cassady. Ross tackles some Kirby Kharacters from The King's later years ( including one seen here in a recent post ) while Finch and Cassady give us bold illustrations of two of comics' most iconic heroes.
Happy Birthday to the beautiful and talented Zhang Ziyi, star of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon( one of my favourite films of the last God-knows-how-many-years ), as well as House Of Flying Daggers, Hero (see above pic ), 2046 and many more 'mazing movies.....